“Cougar – The Musical” – is a very funny off-broadway show about three women “over forty” who are looking for love. I went with 2 baby boomer women friends, and as you can imagine it was campy and fun, and we laughed til we cried. But at its core this show is a very poignant look at love, loss, aging, wisdom and self-awareness, as these three women evolve.
We “boomers” are in a wonderful stage of our lives. Every decade you have lived is a blessing. We’ve all lost people who died young. So be grateful. When Maya Angelou was asked about her life recently, she reflected briefly on her 20s, 30s, 60s, 70s, and when she got to her 80s (she is now 85) she said, “Oh yes, your 80s. Get there if you can.” (Her new book, “Mom, Me and Mom.”)
It’s the journey that counts. The “organ recital” of complaints, my heart, my liver, my joints, my back, my … may all be true but is it your only truth? Are your ailments bigger than you, more than you? Do you struggle with them, and are you losing the battle?
Take a moment to reflect on what you are learning from aging? Remember that aging is like a mighty oak tree, which needed both sunshine and rain to make it grow. We need both love and suffering in this life to grow. So when life sends you suffering, drink it into your roots, and allow it to make you stronger, wiser, and more beautiful.
You may want to reflect on some or all of these questions and write your responses in your journal:
- What is a most important life lesson you have learned in the last 5 years that you did not know as a younger person? Has knowing it had a positive or negative effect on you?
- Is this a lesson that an elder tried to teach you, or something you discovered yourself? How/ why did you come to own it?
- What falsehood has exposed itself to you, as you have gained age and wisdom? What made you shed that belief? Has this had a positive or negative effect on you?
- How has change served you in your life? Do you embrace or resist change? Why? Why not?
- What are your fears about aging, and what actions do you take to counteract these fears? (make a simple list- we will come back to it over the next few months)—-example heart disease– stopped eating red meat, walk a mile a day, etc., Depression got a therapist, meditate, walk a mile, etc.
- You may also list fears for which you do not have a counteraction.
You may also want to add visual images to your journal. Draw pictures, cut out and paste images from magazines. Just have fun with it.