Some relationships that you are engaged in are easy. They have a natural flow, they bring you joy, your energy tends to be high or peaceful when you are in the presence of that person, you feel light.
Close your eyes for a few moments and just bring that person to your awareness. Imagine you are in their presence right now. How do you feel? That is what it feels like when your heart is open. Literally.
Some relationships are difficult. When you are in the presence of that person or are thinking about him or her, you feel tight, your heart races, you obsess about the things that are said, you are irritated, your energy is upset, and you feel heavy.
Close your eyes for a few moments and just bring that person to your awareness. Imagine you are in their presence right now. How do you feel? That is what it feels like when your heart is closed. Literally.
In the ancient Hindu tradition, as well as other indigenous people, there is a metaphysical tradition of energy centers in our body as they relate to the universal life force energy. In the Hindu tradition, these energy centers are called Chakras and there are 7 major Chakras. (Much more about this in later chapter on Chakras.) One of them is called the heart chakra. You can imagine what it is the center of, right?
The heart chakra is concerned with relating unconditional love and compassion to others, yet it is not dependent on others. This is the chakra that is associated with forgiveness and compassion, unconditional love through which we accept another for doing their best. By accepting others as they are, we develop true self-acceptance. By opening our heart chakra we recognize the powerful energy of “love.”
I know what you’re thinking. How can I send unconditional love to someone who is causing me pain, aggravation, sorrow, sadness, fear, etc.? That is the challenge of spirit. There is good and bad in the universe, positive and negative energy, yin and yang, life and death. There are many ways of expressing it, but it all comes down to this. Deal with it. How you do that, is what this blog is all about.
Why is this person in my life is a question you can begin to unravel. If it’s someone who brings you joy, well then you’re probably not struggling with that too much, so we’ll just leave it alone for now. But if it is a difficult person, that’s something we can sink our teeth into.
Ask yourself these questions, which can be framed in the present or the past if the relationship you are thinking about is from your past.
Does this person perceive me as a positive or negative force in his/her life?
Do I contribute to the negative energy that exists between us?
Why is (was) this person in my life?
What am I meant to learn from him/her?
The first step to resolving difficult relationships is understanding them. Be honest with yourself when you answer these questions.
You may want to begin keeping a spiritual journal at this point. (More to come.) Just write down your thoughts about the questions above. If you’re inclined to draw, you might draw something in your journal about how you are feeling after this exercise.
I want to also give you a pleasure exercise to work on. Come back to the person for whom your heart is open. Sit opposite each other and just stare into each others eyes for a few minutes. Babies and little children do this spontaneously because their heart chakra is so open. You may remember doing this as a young person with your first love or with a trusted friend. (We called them staring contests, remember?) When you do this you will feel the energy force of your heart chakra opening. It is inescapable and very distinct.
If you don’t have someone you can do this exercise with, try this instead. Stare at yourself in a mirror. Visualize your heart chakra opening. You may use this image of the green heart. You cannot love another if you cannot love yourself.
Eckhart Tolle- Opinions of Others is a Self Judgement